Tori Amos is my kind of crazy.
Everybody knows I have a borderline sick obsession with Tori Amos. Back in 1998,
I won an on-line trivia contest about her songs. I learned the first 8 measures of all
her songs on the piano. (After the first 8 measures, my feeble hands would succumb
to the difficulty of her compositions. I would stop playing, and say to my friends, "you
get the idea.") I have her autograph framed on my wall. I won't go so far as to say
that I have the lyric "I believe in peace, bitch!" tatooed across my chest, but God
knows I've thought about it.
So imagine the cold sweat I broke into when I saw this picture from her upcoming album:
Dude. She's wearing a sequined gown. Holding a bible. I think that's the word "shame" written on her other hand. And she has what appears to be period blood dribbling down her leg!!! Don't get me wrong - I hate period blood just as much as the next folk. But this. Is. Awesome.
Despite all this, I would like to point out that I have NEVER denied the fact that Tori is pretty much a total loon. For instance. Today, I listened to an audio message from Tori herself describing the new album. It sounds nuttier if you listen to it but if you're lazy, here is what it says:
Hey there, this is Tori. So by now you may have heard about American Doll Posse. I wanted to officially introduce you to the girls. They will all be going on tour. We’re out shopping right now, and I can’t keep a-hold of a-one of them. They’d love to get to know you; they’ve all heard so much about you. You can look for them online. They will all be accessible if you can find their blogs, which they update frequently. Instead of an Easter egg hunt this season, I’m hosting a Posse hunt. Happy hunting.
What makes this crazy is that these "girls" all exist inside Tori's head. I'm not kidding. Here they are:
Sure, one of the Tori's in this picture is holding a live chicken. But I can't stop looking at scary bowl-cut Tori in the front! You just *know* that camera is equipped to deliver some sort of painful electric shock to the genitals.
But...I'll say it again...This. Is. Awesome. I wish I had five versions of myself to go shopping with! And you can damn well bet that wherever these girls' blogs are, I'm going to spend most of my free time looking for them.