Sara Schaefer

Recently Eliot Spitzer announced that illegal immigrants are only required to produce
a foreign passport in order to obtain a New York State drivers license. He reasoned that
immigration is the federal government's problem, not the state's problem, and also the
measure would reduce insurance premiums for all New Yorkers.

Heeeeeere's the thing about that. The same day he announced this, I spent 3 hours in the
DMV attempting to obtain a non-drivers photo ID. AND I WAS DENIED.

I had a U.S. Passport, a Social Security Card, and a marriage certificate. But because I chose to use my maiden name as my new middle name (which is what is on my Social Security Card), they wouldn't let me do it. "SHE CAN'T DO THAT" boomed the supervisor who had been called over to deal with the situation. I hate that, when the supervisor or manager is called over, and they refuse to look at you. You're standing right there and they are loudly talking about you in the third person so (1) you can hear what they're saying, and (2) you are sufficiently humiliated. "SHE WANTS TO DO WHAT?" "SHE NEEDS 4 POINTS OF ID." "WELL THEN SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO COME BACK THEN."

In response to this supervisor, I should have said to the clerk - "SHE CAN SUCK A DICK." But instead I started crying.

New York State didn't have a problem when I used my new married name to pay my damn taxes!! I mean, CLEARLY I am the person I say I am, I have more than enough proof. So imagine the RAGE I felt when later that evening Spitzer is on the news saying that an illegal immigrant can go get a license with just a foreign passport in hand. There are so many things wrong with this.

- Sure, it saves money on insurance. But guess what, I'm not ASKING for a drivers license, so I don't even benefit from this, because I don't pay car insurance.

Despite how cute this little fella is. I just want a damn picture ID with my legal name on it.

- GUESS WHAT. Now the DMV clerks have said they will practice civil disobedience and IGNORE Spitzer's new proposed law should it go into effect. Yet conveniently, when it's BLATANTLY obvious that I'm the person I say I am, and that I'm legitimate in every possible way, their "hands are tied" due to an insurmountable set of rules they have NOOOO control over. Suuuuuure.

According to a DMV customer service rep that I spoke to on the phone,

it *can* be done - with the proper documentation. The list of what they are requiring me to bring is insane and difficult for me to achieve - and THEN, they may not even award me the ID. It's a crapshoot - and I'll have to wait another 3 hours to find out if I win the prize of my beloved government's validation.

So here's what I'm going to bring with me:

- Marriage Certificate
- Birth Certificate
- U.S. Passport
- Health Insurance Card
- Utility Bill
- Employer ID (I have to get a job first)
- Credit Card or Bank Statement
- Blockbuster membership card
- no less than 5 eye witnesses who can attest that I am in fact who I say I am, one of which must be a United States Senator
- Daughters of the American Revolution membership card (yeah DMV assholes, my family fought in the Revolutionary War - is that established enough for you?)
- Four pints of blood (It has to be my blood, as documented by doctor's sworn affidavit which is notarized and framed)
- Printed Myspace and Facebook profiles
- Maury Povich OR if Povich not available, Dr. Phil PLUS Judge Judy
- Michael Douglas circa "Falling Down"
- An illegal immigrant in a wicker basket with valid foreign passport

Wish me luck!