2 tubes of filth for 2 dollars
Today I saw 2 penises on the subway! I feel like I should call it a "2 penis day",
kind of like a "red letter day", except instead of getting a promotion or winning
the lottery, I got to see two bums lettin' their roosters come out to play.
It got me thinking about the age-old topic of how there are so many jolly words
for the penis, and so many derogatory, awful words for the vagina. It doesn't
seem fair. The penis is given actual human names, endearing pet names, or
gladiator/superhero names (johnson, peter, shaft, dick, johnny, weewee, one-eyed
snake, turbo-rocket, anaconda, king tut, towering column of prowess, light saber
of love... I give up - there are many other people that have made this list much
better than I have, so I won't even bother to go any further).
Meanwhile, the vagina is degraded with words that objectify it and turn it into a
bad place: box, down there (like it's hell), slit (ewwww), c*nt (I can't even type
it, it's so gross),...and many many others I choose not to type here because I've
got weird enough google searches leading to this site already. I will add this one
though - a comedian I know, Mike Burns coined the term "slammable dick cave"
which I'll admit, is pretty funny, though point-proving.
Back in college a female friend in my sketch comedy group challenged a male member (heheh, I said member) to come up with a really awful, degrading name for the penis. One that makes your stomach turn just to say it. Anyway, I don't remember the entirety of the story but I do know that the end result was the phrase "tube of filth."
Yeah, I think that works. Too bad it will never catch on. All I know is that I wasn't expecting to see 2 tubes of filth in one afternoon.
Related: a video that perfectly describes what it's like sometimes to be a lady in a sketch comedy group.