Sara Schaefer

It's everywhere on the subway. I get it, it's for a morning radio show that gives away $1,000 every hour from 6 - 11 a.m. And yes, I understand that is a CRAZY amount of money! That these radio DJ's must be totally insane to give away this much money. They are drowning in it!!!

No literally. They are DROWNING in it. Look at the sheer terror in their faces.

I don't know why, but I find myself STARING into these guys' eyes. Like Satan is looking through the advertisement into my soul, beckoning me forward. And while I'm staring, I swear I can hear the sounds of a morning radio show. Like the crazy thunder-laser-explosion sound effects they play, layered with screaming, bloodthirsty, DJ's with weird echo effects on their voices screaming "EL VACIMILLON! VAYA AL INFIERNO!!!"

[The sound of a fire-breathing dragon is heard, and blood starts seeping out of my pores.]

Just when I manage to try and block these images from my mind, I see this:

I hate morning radio shows.